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Re: Spite
This is a very emotional piece and I feel like you wrote this a lot for yourself to get some anger out, which is great. Maybe you could add a ...
Jan 30, 2011 -
Re: Cold
Well, it definitely felt cold. I like it. I like the rhythm and the tone. It sounds angry, but in a distant, dissociative kind of way, if that makes sense. ...
Jan 29, 2011 -
Re: Sand is (1st and 2nd drafts included)
Hey Eddie! I love metaphors so this is right up my street. You describe things very well and clearly. I think the mention of glass and sand in the first ...
Nov 23, 2010 -
Re: I've Fallen For You
Hello! I really like this poem and its message, particularly the end. At first I wasn't sure about the rhyming because it sounds a little too happy for the beginning ...
Oct 17, 2010 -
Re: Music Of War!
Hey! Just a quick note, I edited the caps out of your title. :) I like the rhythm you make in this song. I can hear it, it kind of ...
Oct 2, 2010 -
Re: Poem That Got Me a Date to Homecoming
Aww, this is very cute! I love the rhyming scheme - I love how you go AA,BB and then the last line doesn't rhyme with anything at all. For some ...
Sep 26, 2010 -
Re: James, for Anne
Hi! Well, when you preface your poem by telling people they probably won't understand it, it doesn't really fill me with confidence. :P At best it means you don't expect ...
Sep 26, 2010 -
Re: Joy Production
Hey! I think this poem is very interesting and I like the concept a lot. It flows quite well and the rhyming is good, if a little predictable in places. ...
Sep 26, 2010 -
Re: In the Window Sill
Hi! I think your poem starts out with a lot of promise. I love how you describe the night in the first stanza. Beautiful! However, I don't really get the ...
Sep 26, 2010 -
Re: Never let me go *Edited*
Hi! I like this poem. It's light-hearted and romantic and I think people would be able to relate to it. However, I have a bit of an issue with the ...
Sep 16, 2010 -
Re: I refuse to be weak
Hello! You use description very well in this poem, particularly in the first stanza, and that, linked with the emotion in the other stanzas, makes it pretty powerful. Especially because ...
Sep 10, 2010 -
Re: Addicts
I love this. It's very descriptive and personal, and I can see everything. You describe the emotion really well, and I especially like the way you ended it. I don't ...
Sep 10, 2010 -
Re: When Sleeping...
Hi! I quite like this poem, but there are a couple of things that distracted me from it. Firstly, the colour is kind of difficult to read. No biggy, it's ...
Sep 10, 2010 -
Re: The things I keep
Hi! I really like this. I think it's very simple but it's still effective, and people will be able to relate to it. It rhymes really well without sounding forced, ...
Sep 5, 2010 -
Re: The Riddle of The Heart
Hey! I quite like this. You said what you meant in an interesting way and also made it not only something that you can relate to yourself, but relateable for ...
Sep 5, 2010
